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Understand and Fulfill Needs of Others
One of the golden rules of the therapy
profession is that everyone needs at least one person with whom they can
openly and unashamedly discuss every little detail
– happenings, desires, fears
– of their
life, whether it is from the past, present, or future. There are other
psychological needs –
to be accepted unconditionally, appreciated, recognized, respected, desired,
valued, approved of, or complimented
– that
affect the way we communicate with each other.
Listen carefully, ask questions to show that you are genuinely
interested and you'll be amazed at the spin-offs from becoming a
good question asker and a good listener. People appreciate, respect and
value others who are great listeners.
NLP Solutions:
Engage All of Your Senses
Most people simply listen to the words that are
being said to them, but words contain only 10% of the message. The remaining
90% is hidden in the body language and the tone of voice. Understanding
body language can help you look beyond what people say to what they
really mean.
To remember better what's being communicated to
you, try to engage all your senses whilst listening as human
brain stores pictures, feelings, smells and tastes more effectively than
words. Understand you preferred mode of thinking, your
mental map: whether you are a visual ('see' the world), auditory ('hear'
the world), or a kinesthetic ('feel' the world). If you are a visual, when
you're listening to someone, first of all make what they're are telling you
into a movie. As
brains
remember better things that are out of the ordinary, you can try distorting
pictures or making them funny.
To enhance the effect, add sounds, link
feelings to your movies, put the taste and smells in. And exaggerate
everything.3
Barriers to Effective Listening
Often we have too much difficulty listening to
other people because1:
-
we "know" what we are going to hear;
-
we are seeking confirmation, not information;
-
what's being said is getting in the way of what
needs
be said.
Active Listening
Active listening involves playing back your own interpretation of what
has been said in acknowledgement - 'As I see it, what you mean is...'
Asking Effective Questions
Know which
questions to ask – it will help you get the right response.
Selling By Listening
Great salespeople are great listeners. The most
critical
communication skill for anyone in the business world – managers,
innovators, salespeople, and customer service specialists – is
effective listening. P eople don't buy what you wish to sell. They buy
what they need.
Selling is not happening when you are talking.
Selling is happening when your prospect is talking, and you are
listening actively and passionately,
listening to your prospect's emotions to find the right fit...
More
Pretending Ignorance: Smart Is Dumb
Socrates used this technique more than 2300 years ago. He pretended
ignorance in order to encourage others to express their views fully.
Today, many world's smartest and fastest businesspeople have perfected this art
– consciously or unconsciously – of paying dumb. "People who try to impress by
pretending to be smart generally aren't. Truly smart people know that by playing
dumb and asking the other party to repeat or explain things several times,
asking lots of questions, they'll be better prepared to respond and then
make a
fast decision."6
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