"Humor is the good natured side of truth." ~ Mark Twain

 

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own. ~ Woody Allen

 
 

Social Evolution: Old mantra: Love to be loved. New mantra: Like to be liked. Vadim Kotelnikov Social network jokes

 

 

 

Knowledge, Learning

I am not young enough to know everything. ~ Oscar Wilde

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Love

Love is a temporary insanity curable by marriage. Ambrose Bierce

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Beauty

"Natural beauty takes at least two hours in front of a mirror." ~ Pamela Anderson

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Relationships

"Success is the only unforgivable sin against your neighbor." ~ Faina Ranevskaya

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Marriage

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met!" ~ Rodney Dangerfield

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Divorce

"She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook." ~ Tommy Manville

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Kid's Instructions on Life

"Never trust a dog to watch your food." Patrick, Age 10

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Bad Is Good

"Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light." ~ Groucho Marx

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Health

"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint." ~ Mark Twain

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Communication

"A bore is a person who talks when you wish him to listen." ~ Ambrose Bierce

"Never mistake legibility for communication." ~  David Carson

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Making a Decision

"As soon as an idea is accepted it is time to reject it." ~ Holbrook Jackson

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Money

"I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves." ~ Joe E. Lewis

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Business Success

"Every successful enterprise requires three men a dreamer, a businessman, and a son-of-a-bitch." ~ Peter McArthur

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Management

"Office manager to employees: Don't think of me as a boss. Think of me as a friend who is always right." ~ Unknown

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Innovation

"The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources." ~ Albert Einstein

"If you understand it, it's not innovation." ~ Vadim Kotelnikov

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Marketing & Selling

"It is our job to make women unhappy with what they have." ~ B. Earl Puckett

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Humorous Quotes by:

Kozma Prutkov

Faina Ranevskaya

Vadim Kotelnikov

Albert Einstein

Mark Twain

Oscar Wilde

Authors

 

 Audrey Hepburn quotes on laughter: "I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh.

 
 

Osho quotes on Laughter: Laughter is the best medicine. If you can laugh when you are ill you will get your health back sooner. If you cannot laugh, even if you are healthy, sooner or later you will lose your health and you will become ill.